Wednesday, March 21, 2012

5 Common Mistakes Guys Make When They Email Women Online

So you’ve decided to take the plunge and try online dating. You fill out your profile, add a few pictures and then email a few ladies. Several days go by and not one of them responds. What gives? Here are five common mistakes guys make when they email women online.

Being successful with women online requires a certain level of skill when writing emails. It’s the medium that brings you into her life for the first time. You introduce yourself, establish trust and rapport, build sexual tension by dialing up the attraction level and then finally ask her out on a date.

To go through the entire process in detail would be beyond the scope of this article, so let’s look at the top five mistakes guys make when they email women online. Avoiding these blunders ahead of time will illicit more responses from women when you contact them.

Mistake #1 - Opening With A Bad Headline
Imagine you’re a beautiful woman for a second. You join a dating site and post your photos. What do you think happens next? If you said a barrage of emails from guys trying to get your attention you’d be right.

But what does that look like from her point of view? Depending on how attractive she is, her inbox will fill up rather quickly. She can’t possibly spend time reviewing all these guys, so she has no choice but to sort through all the messages she’s received.

Think about it. If she gets 30 messages in a day (not uncommon for a beautiful woman), she might click on five or six of them at most. She’s going to click on the emails with subject lines that are the most intriguing and unique. This means you must make your headline stand out.

Don’t write some boring cliche like “hi, how are you?” or “wow you’re beautiful” like every other guy. Be creative and write something she’s never seen before. Create a sense of curiosity so that she can’t resist clicking your email and reading more about you.

Mistake #2 - Only Complimenting Her Looks
Another mistake a lot of guys make is writing a woman and only complimenting her looks. Men get turned on visually so when they see a picture of a beautiful woman on a dating site, their first reaction is to shower her with compliments about how gorgeous she looks.

Attractive women get these compliments all the time in real life, and it easily transfers over into the online world. Show that you can look past just her photos and compliment her on something that defines her as a person. Online dating makes this a cinch, as her profile provides information about her background, hobbies and lifestyle.

Use this knowledge to your advantage and ask her things about her life that she deems important. This will immediately separate you from the other forty seven guys that contacted her this week, as you’ll show her that you’re interested in her as a person, not just her looks.

Mistake #3 - Having Poor Grammar & Spelling
When I first started learning about online dating, I decided to create a fake profile of an attractive woman (complete with photos that I borrowed from a friend) to see what kind of emails other guys would send me.

Almost every message I received had the five mistakes I’ve outlined in this article, but the one that came up the most was a complete and utter disregard for proper grammar and spelling. You might not care about that stuff, but women certainly do.

A poorly written email communicates laziness, sloppiness and plain old stupidity. That is the epitome of a turn off for women and is by far the number one reason why women don’t write back.

With technology today, there’s really no excuse not to run your email through a spellchecker first. Additionally, take a minute or two and read your email out loud so that you can hear how it sounds. Edit and polish until it flows effortlessly without any oddities or awkward transitions.

Mistake #4 - Giving Her All The Power
Another faux pas that guys tend to do is give the woman all their power. They’ll say things like “I hope you like what you see” or “If you think I’m alright, let me know.” This is flirtation suicide. It kills any hope of creating that sexual tension needed to build attraction and is symbolic to a balloon fluttering about the room as it loses all its air.

When you write things like that you give up your power as a man. You communicate that she’s perfect in every way and that if things are to progress further between you two, it will be entirely up to her. Don’t do that.

Instead, make it clear to her that she has to win you over. You might be taking the first step by emailing her and acknowledging your interest in her, but that doesn’t mean she’s won you over completely just yet.

She’s still has to prove herself worthy to you on multiple levels, i.e., personally, intellectually and emotionally. Communicate this in a fun and flirty way and women will feel compelled to validate themselves to you by writing you back.

Mistake #5 - Not Ending With A Call To Action
Finally, another reason women don’t respond to emails is because most guys don’t know how to close the sale. They’ll introduce themselves, comment on how pretty she is and then hope for a response.

You can’t leave things open ended like that. You have to tell her what you want her to do next. Remember, women want to be led by men, so make sure you lead her through your email and tell her exactly what to do next once she’s finished reading it.

In this case, you want her to email you at your personal email address. This takes her away from the dating website (and other men) into a more personal, one on one setting with you. But more importantly, you are giving her a call to action.

You are telling her what she needs to do next in order to progress with you. This communicates confidence, leadership and high status. All of which are qualities that women find highly attractive in men.

Want more responses from women online? Mike Mendell is your man. He’s spent the last five years perfecting his techniques to get the most amount of responses from women in the shortest amount of time. See exactly how he does it by visiting his website at http://manualtoonlinedating.com/boyclicksgirl/.

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